Welcome to the APparenting web site and web log. If you’re not familiar with attachment parenting, then one excellent place to start learning more about this loving, fun, and instinctive approach to parenting is to check out Attachment Parenting International.
There are also a number of books on the subject, with two primary references that we recommend: Dr. William Sears’ succinct book The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby and Katie Granju’s Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child.
Of course, attachment parenting as a conscious choice by parents is really a life-long commitment to approaching children with love, respect, and empathy, something that doesn’t end at a specific age, though both of the previous books suggest just that. We disagree. Think of AP this way: it’s treating your children the way you’d like to be treated yourself: lovingly and with compassion.
My name is Katie – I am an Assistant Producer for a British television company. We are currently developing and researching a documentary about different approaches to parenting for a major broadcaster in the UK.
We are very keen to feature families who practise both attachment parenting and homeschooling with their children. Ideally, we are looking for 2/3 families with 2 or more children, who are currently using as many of the following approaches:
I would be very grateful if anyone can put me in touch with suitable families. I can be contacted on 00 44 207 749 3117 or email@example.com.
Many thanks in advance,
020 7749 3117
The sweet life stories.
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I don’t know if I’m in the right place, but I have a question. I wasn’t familiar with attachment parenting before my son was born, but after reading some information about it, I found that it was the style of parenting I had been using all along. One issue that I am having lately (he is now 5 months-old) is that he whines (not cries) ALL DAY LONG. If I sing a song, he stops immediately and smiles. I feed him, change him, play with him, sing to him, etc. and once I take my attention away even for a second, he starts whining. Am I spoiling him? He can play on his own for a while and be okay, but that only happens immediately after he wakes up. He also doesn’t fall asleep on his own, he has to be rocked. I am dreading hearing this whining for years to come. What can I do?
Erin, truth be told, I don’t think that it’s possible to spoil a newborn or baby by interacting with them or touching them or playing with them too much. Frankly, if you or I were completely reliant on someone else for any sort of stimuli, wouldn’t you miss them when they weren’t around?
I suggest that it’s a phase you’re going through, and nothing to worry about. Worst case, it might be diet-related too, so perhaps you can experiment with what you’re eating (if you’re nursing him), esp. spices and specific vegetables and fruits, and see if that helps out, and make sure he’s sleeping enough too.
Hi Erin – I just had respond as well… I just want to encourage you to keep doing what you’re doing because it sounds like you’re doing a great job of attending to your sons needs. What you’re describing sounds very familiar to me, having been there 3 times myself. Each child is so different and each can have such different needs at times. It’s challenging when our children go through phases of needing us more intensely (and then there are the children who simply need us intensely all the time!!), but I do deeply believe (and there’s increasing data to support this belief of mine!) that the more we are able to be there for our children, particularly in these early months and years, the more secure and well-adjusted they will become. I hope this isn’t discouraging to you, but I ended up “wearing” my first child most of her 1st year of life and well into her 2nd. As long as she was that close to me, she felt safe and was happy. I became very strong those years!! Intuitively I knew that if I pushed her to be more independent and ignored her clear messages, it would be harder for all of us in the long run. Looking back, I am now certain this was true.
Regarding the whining in particular, I have a couple of thoughts. First, I’m wondering whether your little guy might have some teeth making their way down through his gums. I was amazed with my 3rd child how profoundly she was helped during her whiny phases by a simple cranial adjustment. I was taking an old dog regularly to a craniosacral worker and happened to mention one visit that I was so tired of my baby whining so much and not sleeping well. She asked if she could check my daughter and I agreed. She said, “Oh, no wonder! She has a tooth coming in on this side.” After a few moments of very gentle movements, she was finished and my daughter stopped whining and slept better that night than she had in a week. I had that experience several times during her first 2-3 years.
I also can recommend books by Jay Gordon and William Sears in general if you’re wanting more support and understanding about the long-term benefits of your parenting choices. There’s also a new book out by the Love and Logic group aimed specifically at young children that has some good tips on how to handle whining. Your little one might be a bit young for this, though. From the little bit you said, I don’t think your son will be whining forever — it just sounds like he has something going on right now and he needs you more as a result.
Hang in there. Dave and I often refer to “get through” phases, but it took us getting to our 2nd child before we gained the perspective (thank goodness!) that the challenging phases don’t last forever, even when they seem like they might.
Hello, I am new to this style of parenting. I have heard people talk about it and never knew what it was. I am always reading books on children and parenting. I love this method. Well, I don’t know how to do it, but I love the idea. It just makes so much sense! My child just turned 3, is it too late to start? How do I start doing it???? PLEASE help.
My son is almost 8 months and he still suffers from acid reflux. On top of that he has a lot of allergies. He is able to keep any solids down as long as the consistency is thick but he spits up milk and water so much that I am so worried about it.
His pediatrician mentioned about craniosacral workers. Would anyone happen to know someone good in San Diego, California?