I admit it. In addition to spending about 24.8 hours each day being the best parent and husband I can be, I also try to find a little time to remember what it means to be a man in today’s society too. One way I accomplish this is through a local men’s group, and it’s great. But, of course, what we have in common is that we’re all Dads too, so the discussion is just as often about parenting and husbanding (as it were) as about being a man. As a result, another way that I try to stay plugged in is through Men’s Health magazine, which I have to admit I enjoy reading, even if it’s about 70% “guys need more sex”.
But one thing that the magazine reveals, issue after issue, is just how many husbands are unfaithful in their marriages. This isn’t news to me – I’ve seen men cheat on their spouses during business trips, know of professional women who keep a running tally of married men who have propositioned them, know more than one guy who has admitted to having an affair, and just about everyone I know who is divorced either had an affair or had a spouse that had an affair somewhere on the rocky road to dissolution.
I just don’t get it, though. I mean, if you’re unhappy in your relationship, fix it. If you can’t fix it, leave it. Seems simple enough.
I’m not even talking about the consequences for children (and Men’s Health quotes statistics that suggest 50% of men cheat on their spouses, by the way) and the added friction in the household. I’m just trying to figure out why men fool around and how they rationalize it to themselves.
So, guys, do you fool around? Have you been unfaithful? Do you just rationalize it as “as long as I don’t get caught, no-one gets hurt?” What do those marriage vows mean to you, anyway?
Did you catch that this story is even showing up in today’s headlines? Boeing CEO Harry Stonecipher was fired today for having an extramarital affair with a female executive at the company. As if to rationalize it away, the Wall Street Journal continues that “the woman didn’t report directly to the 68-year-old, married CEO and the affair had only gone on a couple of months, was consensual, and didn’t advance the woman’s career.” Do those last snippets matter in this situation??
I feel like the odd man out, frankly. I couldn’t care less if I could “get away with it” because I still have to live with myself at the end of the day. It’s still my face in the mirror every morning.
I mean, Angelina Jolie could show up at my door in a silk bit of nothing and tell me that Linda and the kids are out visiting friends for the afternoon and that she was hoping I could give her a massage and rub some oil into her nether regions and I’d just suggest she get dressed so we could get a cup of tea at the local café. Well. Maybe if it were Angelina Jolie… 🙂
Seriously, what do I not get about this whole situation? How is it anything other than rampant immaturity and a completely lack of personal ethics?