Had an interesting experience… a friend of mine a few weeks ago looked pretty down, so I asked him what was going on. His response was that there was some “pretty serious sh*t going down in his life” but that he couldn’t really tell me about it for a few days.
A week passed, and then another, before I finally saw him again.
And this time he opened up.
“My wife and I separated a few weeks ago.”
me: “I thought it was something like that. What a drag. How you doing?”
he: “Actually, pretty well. After a week she came back to me, in tears, saying she couldn’t handle it and needed me to move back in.”
me: “after sixteen years of marriage, right?”
he: “Yeah. But I didn’t move back in and I’m kind of enjoying being a single guy again. It’s nice…”
He’s not dating, as far as I know, but it did surprise me and made me really wonder how many couples find that a so-called “trial separation” or other setup when one moves out is a dramatically wrong move, a final nail in the coffin of the relationship rather than a chance to assess what’s working and figure out how to mend the hurt and heal the marriage?
After years of being a dad and husband, my friend is enjoying the freedom of not having those responsibilities, however illusory they may be. His children? They miss him terribly, I’m sure. And his wife, well, he knows she misses him too. But he’s just fine being in a small apartment, living his own life again. For now.
Ah, the journeys we all travel…