[ this is one of the more peculiar press releases I’ve received in rather a while… ]
From Debbie Nigro
Chief Executive Girlfriend and Founder
First Wives World.com
Approximately 30 million women are transitioning thru divorce in the United States.
There are many different stages. Debbie put this friendly list together so both women and men can better identify the different levels before venturing into the dating scene.
DIVORCED WOMEN’S DATING STYLES
Damaged Daters – You don’t trust anyone anymore with your heart. You’ve been burned. You are not so quick to jump back into another relationship, but you go anyway because you think you are supposed to at least try. Your cynical vibes smell defensive and stink up the room. Wear extra perfume.
I Don’t Care Daters– You are not interested. You’re energy is focused elsewhere. You need time to to find out who you are. You go just because someone’s very nice but you really don’t care, but you don’t let him know you don’t care. He doesn’t pick up you don’t care so he calls you again and you go again…even though you don’t care.
I Just Want To Sleep With You and Not Really Talk to You Daters -Your hormones are swinging and you’re going to try and act the way you think some men act, and just use someone for sex. You want this person to treat you like they care about you, even though you don’t really care about them. You are loving the fact that you never expect a call, and call them when they least expect it. Woo Hoo!
Sneaky Daters -You don’t really want anyone to know who you are dating or where you are going. You go out of your way to find “out of the way” meeting locations and rely heavily on GPS. You are shady with family and friends who suspect you are ‘seeing someone” but have no idea who. This can go on for years.
Dumbstruck Daters. You haven’t been on a date in decades. You don’t know what to wear, what to say or what the rules are. You buy new lingerie but you don’t know why because you have no intention of letting anyone see it yet.
Panic Daters– You need a new man at all costs. You feel your clock ticking and think you are getting older and less attractive by the second. You canât imagine how you will pay all the bills by yourself or handle household problems and children solo. You tolerate unsavory qualities like a twitch, if his salary is high enough. You will cancel plans with your own mother to make a date on a moments notice.
Panicky Daters – If he looks like a keeper you blow it. When you realize a guy might actually be a keeper, all your common sense goes out the window because now you actually care what he thinks. Your nerves get in the way of acting like your usual self. You experience ‘fumfering’ and excessive worry about your looks and words, and as a result can’t remember a darn thing HE said once you get home.
Comfort Daters -You head back in time and re- date old boyfriends who are now also single. Often you track them down. They knew you when you were young and really cute and still see you that way and you them. The delusion is intoxicating and at least you know where the heck they came from.
Smother Daters -You like him, NO you LOVE him, NO you’re ‘obsessed’ with him. You’re the one who has called too many times. Are you there?? Hello…I thought you said you would call at 4 …its 4:05. Pick up the phone, I know you are there. Hello! Hello! Hello- he’s not picking up for a reason.
Double Daters – You are planning on seeing two men in one night. You will meet one for Happy Hour and then one for “Happier Hour” later on. You are getting pleasure out of pushing it.
Serial Daters – Dating for you is an Olympic sport. You entertain every possible category of potential mate as often as is humanly possible. You need to jot down notes on each guy and check the notes often so as not to confuse Bob with Bill or Ben. Often serial daters return to the same location with a different date each time. You might want to consider tipping the wait staff to not say “Is this the same guy as last week?”
Chemistry or Nothing Daters.-You want to pass back through the revolving door as soon as you spot your date at the bar. Nothing he says or does will matter if you are not attracted the moment you see him. You will try not to show your disappointment and stay longer than you want to, but you wish you had a good enough excuse to leave. He’s a lovely person but because you stayed so long he thinks you like him. You would like to remain friends. You know he will never see you again.
Almost Daters – You make a date and plan on going but the closer the date comes the less interest you have. It sounded better in the planning stage so you start formulating a list of legitimate excuses which starts to crescendo in your head and begins to raise your heart rate. Finally you make the dreaded call and bail before the moment of truth. Ahhhhh, glad that’s over. This is a repetitive pattern and will ensure you never go out.
Phone Tag Daters. – You call him and leave a message, he calls you and leaves a message, you call him, he calls you -until it gets really boring and you break up before you even meet.
Therapy Daters -You use your date as a psychology session. Saves time and money especially if you have no health insurance
“I Got It” Daters -You are used to handling everything on your own, however you still appreciate chivalry and welcome an opportunity to try and act feminine and alluring. The check comes you say” I’ve got it”, he argues ‘he’s got it”, but you don’t shut up and now he lets you pay. Now you have no respect for him or yourself because the whole reason you came on the date was to feel feminine. Now you’re feeling butch and he’s history. You can’t respect a guy who lets you pay on the first date.
Hello Lets Get Married Daters – One cup of coffee and you’re picking a new china pattern. This ensures you will never see this date again.
Check On the Kids Daters -You are attempting to relax and enjoy a moment of adult pleasure but your cell phone is in your hand and you are either getting calls in between courses from your kids or your babysitter, or you are outside the restaurant or bar every ten minutes checking on them. This is very unrelaxing and will only be understood if your date also has kids, in which case his phone is also in his hand and he is doing the same thing. Could be a perfect match.
I Love You Tonight But I Have To Be Home Before Breakfast Daters – Your kids are old enough to stay by themselves. You know you are mature enough to do whatever you want but you don’t want your kids or anyone else to know what you are doing. You manage to sneak back in the house and pretend you just woke up before anyone else wakes up. Only you know why you are asleep on the couch till 4pm. The kids think you’re sick.
Happy Daters -You’re comfortable with who you are and are open minded to whoever your date turns out to be. You are genuine and warm and appreciative of this other persons attempt to find love and companionship too. You have a wonderfully surprising time and look forward to enjoying each others company again and again.
It is my wish that you all become Happy Daters!