Valentine’s Day is coming up and this year my thoughts don’t turn to the fabled massacre (which is good) (I’m just kidding, take it easy!) but I am also quite aware that it’ll be just about the 30 day anniversary of my divorce decree being signed in the local courthouse. So I’m not exactly ready to send anyone a beautiful bouquet of roses.
On the other hand, I have been given the chance – perhaps demonstrating the sly humor of the fates – to participate in a Proflowers.com promotional campaign and give away six $70 gift certificates for their site.
Just in time for Valentine’s Day!
Honestly, I dearly hope that you’re in a wonderful, loving, mutually supportive relationship and are dreaming of a romantic Valentine’s Day and perhaps some nice late night action too. Even if you’re the happiest guy or gal on the Internet, though, I bet there was a Valentine’s Day in the past where things weren’t going so well, either with this relationship or a previous one.
Or perhaps you were between relationships and the last thing you wanted to hear about was how bloody happy your friends were with their sweetheart.
One way or the other, I bet everyone has at one point or another had a Valentine’s Day that wasn’t wonderful, fun, loving and romantic, but instead a bit of a downer.
Heck, you might be one of those people who love the sentiment but hate the day because you figure every day is a suitable day for showing your love and appreciation for your partner. I can relate to that too.
So here’s how you can win one of these very nice $70 gift certificates in time to send either the cliché dozen red roses or something a wee bit more creative and interesting:
Write a wry haiku about Valentine’s Day and/or about your less than stellar experience of a Vday in the past. Here’s my demo haiku:
Those pesky red hearts
hanging everywhere, remind me that
it’s time to find a date.
(What’s a haiku? Duuudddee! A short rhyme with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the third. That’s it, pretty easy)
You have until noon on Sunday, February 8th to add your own haiku as a comment to this thread, at which time I will ask my panel of celebrity judges, including Nora Burns, Klaus Holzapfel, Deb Frey, Janet Meiners Thaeler, Lucretia Pruitt and Denise Smith, to pick the winners. If there’s a tie, I’ll act as the tie-breaker.
And, dare I say it, Happy Valentine’s Day!
One more thing: I’m not alone in running this fun Proflowers promotion, though I might have the most cynical view of it. Want to see what other sites are involved? Check it out: A Good Husband, Honor, Duty, Email, Building Camelot, Daddy Forever, Dad Talk, A Family Runs Through It, Patrick Says, At Home Dad, You Served, Dad Blogs, Ploomy, Gear Live, Techronical, Art of Manliness, Mommy Daddy Blog, Dad-O-Matic, Dadcentric, and (phew!) Chris Pirillo. Quite a list, eh? 🙂
Cupid take your Aim
Love has never found my Heart
To live without pain!
Singles are lonely
Couples are disappointed
Children are “in love”
The flowers were free;
I got them just down the street.
Thanks, cemetery!
Twitter: aljmac
A wry co-sleeping haiku??
Love mine, I thee see
Yet cannot share love with thee
Three cherubs between
I love my kids, but sometimes, just occasionally, they are just “in the way,” if you know what I mean…
Aah, the joys and trials of AP!
I love my iBook
No needy human valentine
No blue screen of death
Starter marriage done
âMy first husbandâ? sounds mysterious
Onward moving on
the baby is due
he is coming on Thursday
modern medicine
Love, is it for me?
Diamonds, flowers, chocolates:
First I need a job!
Divorce number what???
Bite me. Sign the paper, babe.
Feb fourteenth my ass.
You left–me, our child.
I married your sweet best friend.
Six years this V-day.
Although this doesn’t count, just couldn’t resist…Ouch! This was fun playing around.
When you broke my heart
I found someone nicer
And better looking
And then messed up the second line, forgot the seventh syllable.
When you broke my heart
I found someone much nicer
And better looking
I’ll give back these thorns
you can keep the old petals
please return my years
Cupid’s bow can’t pierce
My cold, iron-plated heart
Try a bulldozer
OK, maybe not wry…but it’s still cute…maybe?
Cupid sent me Nick
Four years later he gave me
My baby fish stick
Our new friendship born
From Twitter Posts To & Fro
Many Seasons More
The V in V-day
Coos itâs delight, swoons and bites
Kids awake, just chocolate
The V in V-day
Coos itâs delight, swoons and bites
Kids up: chocolate
My mother-in-law
Suggests she’d enjoy grandkids.
She leaves on Thursday.
Valentine’s day sucks
I spent all of my money
and did not get laid
Your gift from last year
lives still this Valentine’s Day
Rash won’t go away
It’s Valentine’s Day!
You giftwrap an appliance
And I’ll divorce you.
I love you so much.
But Victoria’s Secret
Should stay in your dreams.
There I stood again;
Looking at picked over cards
A wife among men.
Our love hasn’t dimmed…
But the bulb in the bedroom
Is not florescent.
Secret crush of mine
We will not be together
Drink wine while I whine
I remember well
Our Wedding, barefeet, Fiji
It was warm rain
love shines, mountains glow
you live in my heart, my mind
i wish you were here
Bob’s Pit Barbeque
Ranch dressing on my red dress
Not a great first date
When I was a kid
My cousin died on V-day
Reminds me of him.
Roses are blood Red
The knife in my heart pains me
At least you are dead
As a gift of love,
Consider sending roses
…or shaving your back.