Only women know what it takes to be a good dad?

Okay, this just tripped my bogus-meter rather big time. A PR pitch from a book author that says:

“When Kevin [Renner] asked himself “What does a good father look like?” and no answer came to mind, he decided to find out. He interviewed 50 women from around the world for his new book In Search of Fatherhood: A Mother Lode of Wisdom from the World of Daughterhood (May 2011).”

Okay, so Kevin, if you want to find out what it is to be a father, why not ask fathers? Or ask daughters if you’re curious about the father/daughter relationship?
Asking mothers what makes a good father is going to get you a highly skewed answer and one that reflects the feminine / nurturing / mother perspective on things.


Last I checked, I was not from the mythical planet of Venus, nor do I — nor my kids! — want or need me to be a mom with a beard. Motherhood and fatherhood are inherently different because men and women are different.
I realize that the feminization of culture has led us to the point where for many families it’s the woman who defines the parental roles and judges whether the man is doing an acceptable job as father, but I’ll just call it as bogus here and now.
There’s really no reason that women should inherently be better parents than men are. I don’t expect my kids’ mom to be masculine or approach things as a man would nor should she expect me to be feminine or approach things as a woman / mother would.
It’s the duality, the masculine/feminine that our children need to grow up balanced and able to handle all that the world’s going to throw at them.
Asking women how men should father? Not so much.
But maybe that’s just me. Heck, I’m from Mars and proud of it. Am I wrong?

4 comments on “Only women know what it takes to be a good dad?

  1. I disagree with you, VA. I think that in a world populated by both men and women, children that don’t grow up learning how to work with and appreciate both the male and female are at a disadvantage when they’re adults.

  2. I agree with Dave. Asking only women about what makes a good father is just as ridiculous as asking only men about what makes a good mother.
    I also think kids need exposure to both masculine and feminine (and other?) gender role models to provide balance.

  3. When I appreciate my husband I have to remember that he has three roles: Husband, Daddy, and Baby Daddy. I think what the article is talking about is the “baby daddy” role. I think of his “baby daddy” role as the custodial father duties, rather than the fun, entertaining and playful “daddy” duties. But, society likes to think that father’s only play a “daddy” role, and that the “baby daddy” role is just a mom’s helper.

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