The Difference In How Boys and Girls Think

This is a guest post from mommy blogger and author Vanessa Van Petten.
My brother and I could not have been more different. As a saggy jean wearing, sport-playing guy his needs, wants and worries seemed totally different than mine. In my book, Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded? I address some of the major differences between boys and girls, including the differences I always perceived between my brother and I.

When you boil it all down, there’s one main way girls and boys differ: What they worry about.

Here are some of the things girls worry about: (ranked in order of importance)
• Relationships between family and friends
• Appearance
• School/Grades
• Boyfriend/Girlfriend
• College/Future
Here are some of the things boys worry about: (also ranked in order of importance)
• What to do with time/Having fun
• School/Grades
• Friends
• Girlfriend/Sex
• College/Future
There are some definite similarities, however the differences in priorities (girls worry about familial relationships more than boys) can definitely cause tension between parents and opposite gender children: parents often just don’t know what’s motiving their kids.

I always challenge parents to ask their kids what they worry about. This helps you get to know them and allows you to see where you may differ — and that it might be at the base of some of your daily arguments like doing homework, curfew when out with friends or who to date.

Ed note: It’s interesting that my children don’t quite match this list. In fact, I don’t know if it’s the constant presence of girls in his life, but my 11yo son is quite concerned about his appearance and likes to go clothes shopping, changes his hairstyle to experiment with different looks, and even uses body wash, deodorant and occasionally even a cologne. I fear he’s just doing it to dip a toe in the “girlfriend/sex” category, but that’s another subject entirely!

If you liked these tips and are interested in learning more about the non-verbal cues of kids, tweens and teens please check out Vanessa’s book Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded?

One comment on “The Difference In How Boys and Girls Think

  1. Just catching up on this blog. Yay G+!
    Recommended reading for anyone with daughters is “The Female Brain.” While it’s not geared at noting differences between male and female thinking, it spells out the physiological sources that will inform you of the “why”. It is also not only limited to younger years and could be something you as a parent can pass on to your daughter when she’s ready to process the information. A dear friend in her 30’s was recently given “The Female Brain” and it has not only helped her explain her current thought processes, but also when reflecting to her younger years it was quite eye opening.

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