As a member of the media it’s at the beginning of April that it starts, the promotions and releases tied to one of the biggest spending holidays of the year: Mother’s Day. Previously I was reasonably enthused about it, helping my children plan a nice present or surprise for their Mom and getting a card and, occasionally, some flowers for my own mum to celebrate their presence in my life.
Last year, just before Mother’s Day, however, my own Mum passed away. And of course, for the last few years, I have not been motivated to help my children pull together cards and presents for my ex. If we had a smoother, less contentious ongoing relationship as co-parents, perhaps that’d be different, but as it is, my involvement in the process is one or two reminders “did you make a card for mama?” then the kids are on their own.
I didn’t have a great relationship with my own Mom, and have always been closer to my Dad. Still, for every Father’s Day press release I receive, I get a half-dozen or more related to how amazing mothers are, how they’re the heart of our culture and civilization, and how the earth would stop rotating if we didn’t celebrate them in fine style (and with a generous bankroll).
Yeah, I’m being sarcastic. If you’re reading this, though, you already know I’m passionate about father’s rights and about how our culture marginalizes fathers — and men in general — and how I think that’s a disaster, so it shouldn’t be too surprising when I react this way to a holiday that basically says “give birth = you’re a hero and an angel among mortals” while we continue to be bombarded by images of fathers as incompetent dorks who are happy to ignore the kids if they can just get another round of golf in or meet up with their buddies at the bar.
So Mother’s Day has always been a mixed bag for me, more so after my divorce and doubly so now that my own Mum’s passed away. It’s a holiday that I can’t really celebrate much at all.
I realize I might well be alone in this sentiment and it might mark me as a cranky curmudgeon but it’s a drag to receive a veritable river of mother’s day media releases this time of year without any mothers to celebrate in my own life. My kids have me. And they’re lucky at that.
Bah, humbug. I miss my Mom.