When Linda was first pregnant with A-, our now 17yo (seventeen? Where the deuce did the time go??) one of the books I can recall us talking about was one of the bibles of pregnancy: What To Expect When You’re Expecting. I don’t think we bought it, though, as I remember thinking that it was very mainstream and by half-way through the pregnancy we’d decided on a home birth and were taking birth classes from a midwife, not a hospital. Still, the What to Expect line has grown into a powerful brand in the pregnancy and newborn space with millions of copies in circulation.
All these years later, I was honored when the publisher approached me and asked if I’d be interested in writing for the What To Expect blog.
“Sure, but on what? It’s been a long time since I’ve been involved in the birth of a child.”
“How about on being a father?”
That I can do, but rather than write a light, joyous piece about the amazing experience of birth (which I still kind of associate with the brand) I thought I’d take a bit more serious angle and write about what to expect when reality intrudes on that bliss.
Here’s the link, please go read my guest piece:
In fact, becoming a father was amazing. Having newborns was awe-inspiring. But the births themselves? Progressively worse experiences as our relationship was on its long, slow death spiral. That’s the subject of a different post, but my basic advice for what to really expect when you’re expecting is one hell of a ride, good and bad, joyous and terrible, dark and light.
There will be great times, wonderful moments that reaffirm what it is to be a human, moments that fill your heart with joy. And there are other times that are endured, dark nights when you avoid the mirror so you can avoid seeing the truth of your life at that moment.
Somehow it all balances out in the long run – hopefully – and I know that at this point I am filled with far more positive memories than negative ones, and look forward to every minute with my three kids, even when things are difficult.
But that doesn’t mean that we’re done with the challenges.
That’s what I expect.