When did shopping online become such a drag?

Hmmm… should I admit that I like shopping? Well, shopping online, but even the local neighborhood mall is a comfortable space and one I enjoy visiting, probably because my teen years were spent in “The Valley” (yes, that valley, the San Fernando Valley in Southern California, home of “valley girls”, etc 🙂 Shopping seems like a fun social experience mostly, a chance to people watch and see a much wider variety of folks than I…Read More

Singing my children to sleep….

It’s a routine we’ve been in for over a decade now, me singing my children to sleep. From when they were wee ones to now, when my oldest is 11, they enjoy listening to me sing and it helps them easily drift off to dreamland. What’s curious, however, is what they most like me to sing: The Beatles. Maybe it’s because I’m a boomer myself and so I am quite familiar with all their lyrics,…Read More

Tourists and product stickers…

At the risk of sounding like a cranky guy, I have to say that I am completely baffled by people who buy consumer electronics and then don’t peel off the product feature stickers. You know what I’m talking about, they used to only be on “display” or “demo” units at the store, but now for some reason we all get to enjoy stickers all over our TVs, DVD players, stereos, computers, and cameras that tell…Read More

Finding the balance between “honoring their voice” and avoiding chaos

So our story begins with me going over to Linda’s house to get K-, our 4yo, who I had agreed to have over at my place for the night. Originally all three kids were going to be with Linda, but she’s been telling me how overwhelmed she’s been lately so I thought taking the little one could be helpful. I’m also cognizant that I’m going to be totally unplugged for three nights at a conference…Read More

The anniversary of my daughter’s conception…

A few days ago was the anniversary of the night we conceived A-, our first child, who is now 11 years old. I can remember everything about the evening, where Linda and I ate and were staying, our laughter-filled visit to Victoria’s Secret and what we bought there, all of it a crystal clear memory that’s unusual for me. Twelve years later, I am quite in love with the little nipper, she’s the proverbial apple…Read More

Q&A with Spain Dad: Daddy Blogs and The Issue of Privacy

Though I have been writing this parenting blog / daddy blog for years, I have to say that I don’t really feel like part of the daddy blog community. In fact, I only read 2-3 dad blogs at this point. That’s why I was so delighted when Kelly Crull, who blogs as Spain Dad, reached out and sent me a lovely email to initiate a friendship between us. But Kelly blogs about his family in…Read More

Like poison in a well: of kids and bad moods

Just when you think that we’re autonomous and able to determine our own emotional response to situations, you realize that we can be affected – and sometimes profoundly affected – by the moods of those around us. You know what I mean, where you’re in a good mood and happy until you bump into a friend who is down in the dumps, moody or angry. Then your bubble bursts and the bad mood infects you….Read More

Should children be paid to do chores?

The latest bone of contention (“bone” of contention? Why does that make me think of the seminal opening scene in the brilliant 2001: A Space Odyssey when I hear that phrase?) in our little universe is around chores. We’ve tried chore charts, we’ve tried “gold stars”, we’ve tried family meetings where we all talk about the chores we like to do (and yes, kids like some chores in my experience), but they all end up…Read More

Why the caucus system leaves me frustrated and disenfranchised

Here we are on Super Tuesday and since I have children, I am left out of the American democratic electoral process in a way that I have never felt left out before. In case you don’t know, Colorado is one of many states that is using a caucus system to begin the process of selecting both a Democratic and Republican candidate for the office of President of the United States (an election that won’t take…Read More

The weirdness of visiting the old family home

Separation is an emotionally tough experience. This is not only something I’m learning personally, but definitely something that friends have also shared with me too, and separation –> divorce, well, even when it’s a cut-and-dry situation where one party has done something unacceptable (like have an affair) it’s still damn tough emotionally, a rollercoaster of highs and lows. What’s rather surprised me, however, is the ambivalence I feel when I walk into the “old house”,…Read More

What’s the proper protocol for a sleepover?

I think I’m doing well here, but I wanted to check with the blogging world at large: my 11yo A- has one of her best pals over for a sleepover tonight and I think all is going well, but ya never know. Truth be told, this is the first sleepover I’ve “hosted” for my girl at my new place too. Which leads to an interesting concern: I made sure it was very clear to the…Read More

Is having “cybersex” cheating on a relationship?

A friend of mine has a poll up where she asks is having cybersex cheating if you’re married? I voted – my answer was yes – but I wanted to spend a little time talking about my answer here on my own blog and have my own informal survey of readers about this topic. First off, you’ll note that I changed the question to be about relationships, not just marriage, because I think that it’s…Read More

When do you take your wedding ring off?

As Linda and I have continued to travel down the road from married to divorced (we’re maybe 30% down the road legally, and probably about 50% emotionally) one of the issues that seems to have been the most challenging hasn’t been splitting bills into two, figuring out who gets the kids for specific holidays or anything like that. It’s been the more pedestrian question of when do you take off your wedding ring? As I…Read More

Where does dryer lint come from?

This is a rather weird question, but as I have been washing and drying little hand towels from my son’s first grade classroom I can’t help but wonder where does dryer lint come from? That is, if you look at how much lint is collected after a single run of the dryer with socks, towels, etc., it can be rather impressive. Run those clothes through the dryer a couple of dozen times and it seems…Read More

New Age Psychobabble or not? You decide

Just saw this come into my mailbox from an unnamed mailing list: “Does anyone have or know of a survey of staying in a state of love, light and bliss while being authentic with the shadow emotions within us. i.e. maintaining equanimity and calmness, while able to express anger, hurt, etc.” Maybe it’s just me, but what does this actually mean and do any of you know anyone who has accomplished this trick of being…Read More