Earthquakes are scary things, and the Western US is on the edge of tectonic plates, so every so often there’s a pressure build-up and slip that causes either a little jiggle in the earth or a major quake like the Northridge quake in the mid 90’s or the Loma Prieta quake in San Francisco back in 1989. Cinema loves disasters because they force the drama. Rescues! Peril! Families Torn Apart! Explosions! Fires! So it’s no wonder…Read More
Review: Furious 7
Can a film be successful purely because of its special effects? That’s the key question around this seventh entry in the Fast and Furious franchise, and the answer is unfortunately obvious: yes, it can, and Furious 7 is going to be a success, in spite of the fact that there’s so much wrong with the movie. A franchise built around flawed action heroes whose superpower is the ability to drive cars quickly is on shaky ground…Read More
Review: Hercules
I should start by clarifying which version of the oft-told Hercules story we’re talking about, because it’s not the animated feature from Disney and it’s most assuredly not the banal early 2014 The Legend of Hercules with Kellan Lutz in the title role. I’m talking about the summer release with the always popular muscleman Dwayne Johnson in the title role, as released jointly by Paramount and MGM. First the perhaps surprising news: I quite liked and enjoyed…Read More
Review: Pain & Gain
There are two fundamental problems with the action “comedy” Pain and Gain: First, Michael Bay is the wrong director for this sort of material, and second, whoever cast the likable Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson in the film made a terrible mistake. I like Wahlberg and Johnson, and that’s the problem: In the film the criminal masterminds they portray are such losers that it’s just wrong to have these two popular actors in these roles….Read More
Review: G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Some films require a specific demographic for full enjoyment, and in the action genre, it seems there are a lot aimed at teen boys. A prime example: Gone in Sixty Seconds. It’s not that it’s a horrible movie, it’s just that the storyline is incoherent, the characters are all one-dimensional, the ending is obvious from sixty seconds past the opening titles and the performances are all uninteresting. And the male/female relationships? It couldn’t be more…Read More
Review: Faster
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has successfully transitioned from a pro wrestler to an actor with some decent films to his credit, including The Rundown, a remake of Walking Tall and Get Smart, along with, inevitably, some real clunkers, including the oddly off-the-mark remake of Race to Witch Mountain and the ghastly Tooth Fairy. Johnson is solid in Faster, and it’s a pleasure to see him back in top form. Faster is a throwback to the…Read More
Review: The Other Guys
I take notes as I watch films so that I can remember salient plot points, great effects, and idiotic story twists. During The Other Guys, I wrote down “buddy cop film from hell”. That might well sum up the weird mashup that is The Other Guys, a movie that can’t decide if it’s a straight-up action film, a satire that skewers the well-worn buddy cop genre, or a daft, sophomoric comedy in the vein of…Read More
Review: Planet 51
If we land on another planet — or back here on Earth — and find something other than what we expect, who is the alien in that situation, the modern day Earthman, or the local? It’s a plot staple of the classic old Twilight Zone series and the basis of a lot of films, including the entire Planet of the Apes series. It’s the allegorical mirror of Pogo’s famous “we have met the enemy and…Read More